To Live My Life
by Dimps-chan
Summary: Tas x Mia. Songfilk on Tasuki's reflections upon Miaka, the lost chances. Sweet but kinda sad - for those who adore Tasuki or Hotohori ^^ Hotohori's pov uploaded xXx
1. How Did I Fall In Love With You -- Tas's...

**how did i fall in love with you  
  
*** by dimps-chan  
  
**remember when we never needed each other [he recalls how the Suzaku Seven was there for her]  
  
the best of friends [they always told each other their worries, taking comfort in each others' words]  
  
like sister and brothers [she was the gentle and loving sister he never had]  
  
we understood, we'll never be alone [he was always there when her heart was broken]  
  
those days are gone, [but she always had Tamahome, now Taka]  
  
now i want you so much, [but when the sky is empty, he lays on his bed wondering about her]  
  
the night is long, and i need your touch, [the stars are gone, because she took them with her]  
  
dunno what to say [he always felt so awkward around her, afraid of upsetting the balance]  
  
never meant to feel this way [he was a seishi, and she was his Miko]  
  
don't want to be alone tonight [but she brought upon him new emotions that cannot be erased]  
  
**[chorus]  
  
what can i do to make you mine  
  
fallen so hard, so fast this time  
  
what did i say, what did you do  
  
how did i fall in love with you  
  
**i hear your voice and start to tremble ["Tamahome!" she crys for]  
  
brings back the child i resemble [i hung my head in shame, for i'm not worthy]  
  
i cannot pretend that we can still be friends [she does not know what she does to me]  
  
don't want to be alone tonight [i cannot sleep for it is only she that haunts me nightly]  
  
**[chorus]  
  
what can i do to make you mine  
  
fallen so hard, so fast this time  
  
what did i say, what did you do  
  
how did i fall in love with you  
  
**all i want to say is right, [when she looks at me, i know i cannot hide my heart any longer]  
  
it has to be tonight [it has to be tonight]  
  
i need you to know [i need you to know]  
  
don't wanna to live this life [for it is the last day spent with you; you leave me with no choice]  
  
don't wanna say goodbye [as you and Tamahome vanish into that red, red light ]  
  
with you i wanna spend the rest of my life [my heart crys, for you have finally left me]  
  
**[chorus]  
  
what can i do to make you mine  
  
fallen so hard, so fast this time  
  
what did i say, what did you do  
  
how did i fall in love with you  
  
**everything's changed, [vision of her scuffing the peaches he found; they were the best of friends]  
  
remember when... [the last time i ever held you wasn't enough]  
  
how did i fall in love with you [i love you so much it breaks me...]  
  
...Miaka  
  
***Owari***  
  
***Notes:  
  
1)lyrics taken from the album Black and Blue, 13th track "How did i fall in love with you" [backstreet boys]  
  
2)Tas x Mia 4ever ^o^  
  
~dimps-chan ^^  
  
***http://www.geocities.com/dimps_chan 


	2. To Live My Life -- Hotohori's POV

**To Live My Life  
  
***By Dimps-chan  
  
**He was running. Crawling upon his knees to get away. He didn't know where he was going, but he knew the reason why he  
  
wanted escape. The girl of his dreams was getting married, to somebody else. She had announced the engagement this morning, with  
  
her fiancée's arms around her, beaming like she owned the world. But she did not, he did. But then why was that he never got what he  
  
wanted? What he yearned for since his life had begun. They were perfect for each other, couldn't she see that? That she was the one  
  
for him. Since the beginning he had dreamt of her, of this union - destiny. When he first laid eyes upon her, he could see that. That  
  
They were what Suzaku destinied to Become. He loved her from first sight.  
  
**Alas, she fell for another. Tamahome. For another fellow Seishi. What Suzaku had generously bestowed upon him was  
  
also bestowed upon Tamahome. He had no practice at being himself, at being in another human's presence. Equality was something  
  
he never experienced before, and this freedom allowed precious time to be wasted. Tamahome had built a steady relationship with her,  
  
upon experiences and lives he never even witness before. She was so innocent, so trusting. Whether it was her beautiful face, or the  
  
way she trusts others with her own life, it always made him wonder. Seeing her refreshed him from the dullness he faced daily.  
  
**"Friend," he tasted the word slowly on his lips. She treated him not only as an equal, but also as someone of flesh and blood. She  
  
made him feel alive, to live the way he wanted to. That laugh of hers, seemly bubbling up from the depths of her soul and surfacing into  
  
the bright, bright light - it reflected the very color of happiness. Remembering her laugh brought a pang to his heart once more. Yet the  
  
pain pleased him in another way - if he couldn't have her, the least he could do was to not stand in her way towards happiness. If  
  
happiness meant giving her away, he would do it.  
  
**He stood up, proud and straight. He would not show his love - he dare not ruin even one moment of the happiest day of the  
  
girl's life. Because he loved her - because she was the Suzaku no Miko Miaka Yuki, and he was her seishi Hotohori. Tomorrow he will  
  
play his Emperor role once more, to live his lonely life. But for now, just for now, let him hold onto her memory, her smell, and her laugh -  
  
even if it's just for one last night.  
  
**"I'm a dying man," he realized. Chuckling dryly, Hotohori now Emperor of Konan, slowly made his way back to the palace.  
  
***Owari***  
  
***Notes:  
  
i'm sorry if it seems that Hotohori lost his gracefulness at the beginning of the chapter ^^;; but it makes him more lovable ne?  
  
just in case ne1 doesn't get why Hotohori is 'dying' - I meant "dying inside", withered away w/out the love etc..  
  
r/r and tell me who should i write about next plz ^^;;  
  
~ Dimps-chan xXx  
  
***http://www.geocities.com/dimps_chan 


End file.
